I looked in the mirror and what did I see?

 

   Happy Saturday, Sorry I did not post on my circle of prayer last night, I was a bit under the weather and fell asleep around 4 in the afternoon and did not awake until after 10 30...hopefully today will be a better day for me:) Our morning here in Utah is delightful, the sun is just coming up over the mountain, the temperature is 63 degrees, the breeze is at a standstill and the birds are singing as if their lives depend upon it:) This week has been a titch warmer for us, several days we actually hit 90 degrees, I think we are in for a brutal winter as our summer has been so very mild!
     In prayer this morning, I leaned my head back and stared up into the sky, I allowed my mind to relax and began chatting with God, I prayed my usual morning prayer, for the sick, for the impoverished, for the depressed, for the lost, for the ones who are so in need of the gospel, for specific prayer request and for myself! I sat there waiting for my word of the day, for him to give me a direction to go with  my blog and I felt such a powerful thought cross over my heart, I then waited for the warm feeling I always get when these thoughts come over me to know that this is what I will talk about! The feeling came not just as a warmth but as if it was urgent that I get it written.
      So many of us live our lives not really knowing who we are, we have pleased others for so long it has become our "mask" we have striveded to bring joy to everyone, we have strived to always be happy, to wear our happy faces, not to cause any ripples in the water...please others, please others, please others....This has nothing to do with the golden rule in how we treat others, this has to do with living our lives making other people happy and forgetting about our own happiness. I lived this for the first 45 years of my life, always thinking of how I could take the burden someone else was carrying, always thinking of way to make other people happy...in the hustle of doing this, I forgot one person...myself. I forgot to include me in the daily ritual of bringing happiness! When I realized that as long as I was pleasing my father in heaven the rest falls in to place my  life got much easier! When I realized instead of going out and seeking people to make happy, if I lived according to his tenants and teachings, he would be leading me to the ones who truely needed help, and in help it was basically spiritual help. I no longer go to peoples homes and clean them because they are to overwhelmed to do it themselves, I no longer sit and listen to snide, cynical people because that is all they have to talk about and no one else will listen to them, I no longer listen to the woe is me story told on a daily basis by so many who are more content in telling the story than getting up and making a change. I no longer allow people to drag me into the mess they call life and lament over how bad it is for them...the relationships that are falling apart each weekend...the financial woes where money is for maintaining appearance, not paying bills. The I am so depressed because things are not going my way but I am not willing to change them...I STOPPED being the go to guy when all of these things were being brought to me, I STOPPED trying to figure out ways to make it all better only for them to continue to allow them to keep coming. I STOPPED, trying to "fix" everything. I began to offer prayer, funny how when you offer prayer to someone who is seemingly with their heads inches away from sticking it into a hot oven, they really don't want to hear it! Funny how when I would say, "let's pray for mercy and for guidance" I would hear, I do that all of the time and he never answers! Yea right a lot of good prayer gets me...nothing ever changes...HELLO, RED LIGHT...I began to realize that some people enjoy living in their own drama and nothing I could ever do would be enough to bring them through it! I began to separate myself from them, I began to pray even harder for them and I had to realize unless they were willing to go "on bended knees" for themselves they would continue to wallow in the life that they were allowing for themselves. When I finally realized that God did not want me to be "slave" to emotional cripples, is when I began to see how much time I had wasted on trying to save someone who has no desire to be saved! I began to focus on those in need, in real need, of spiritual and emotional help, God never denies me a person who is in such need, his words come flowing freely from my mouth and fingers and that person feels him in this. When I finally took my "nicest person in the neighborhood" mask off, when I finally took my "life saver" mask off, when I finally took my call Dawn "she will help with anything" mask off, when I finally took my "doormat" mask off, I looked in the mirror and the person looking back at me was a total stranger...she did not resemble anyone I knew, she was tired, she was wiped out, she was without life in her eyes, she was used up...it was scary, I wanted to throw one of my comfort masks on and run...but I did not. I stared her down and began to find out what she liked, what her interests were, what she wanted, what she needed and I began to work on her!!! She is wonderful now, it took a long time for the co-dependent person behind the mask to begin to use the word NO. It took a long time for her to come to the understanding that I was only allowing others to continue to wear their "woe is me" mask, In an odd way, I was making their lives worse by helping them, by always coming to the rescue. Today I pray that if you are wearing masks, that you take them off and look in the mirror...do you recognize the person you see? Today in my life there is only one that I STRIVE to please, that is my Father in Heaven, when I finally realized that this is the most important thing in life, everything came together, my family began to respect me as a person, they began to hear my words, to feel my needs and to help me, my "friends" either walked away and found others wearing masks to keep them in their worlds, or they opened their eyes and began to live! My self esteem and my love for me awoke and I began to enjoy looking in the mirror! I pray for each of you today, if you are wearing masks pull them off and let the new and true you shine through! Learn how to say NO and begin really helping others! Lift them in prayer, ask God to shine his light on their hearts and watch the healing begin. Be pleasing to God, he is the one that will drive your vehicle HOME when it is time, be pleasing to him for he is the the truth, the light and the way! Love with all of your heart and give the gift of prayer, allow others to make their own way and know that they will when we quit feeding in to their problems. I love each of you, I pray these things for you humbly in the name of Jesus Christ,amen. May your day be filled with YOU, may happiness be in the small things and may you feel loved and appreciated in all that you do! God bless you abundantly my friends!!!!