Good evening and happy Tuesday evening, I pray your day has been a wonderful one and that you and yours are now settled in sharing some so important family time together.
In prayer this evening I bowed my head and let the noise of the day wane away, I stilled my mind and allowed myself to become melded with the Holy Spirit. We sat in silence, me feeling only the blessing of our Father in heaven's grace and goodness as I sat thinking about all the prayers we have lifted and all that have been answered right before our very eyes. I asked God how can anyone deny you, how can anyone not believe in your goodness and your love?Please Lord, continue to bless my friend Star as she is growing stronger each day and is such a wonderful inspiration to so many. Father, thank you, THANK YOU, for all of the good things you have put in my life, for my daughter who I love with every breath I take, who has been nothing but joy for me for 25 years. For that little boy growing in her tummy, who will no doubt steal my heart and wrap me around his very pinkie finger. Thank you for my Wayde, who stands by me through thick and thin, who takes care of me in a way that only a person filled with unconditional love can, for my family, for my friends, and for all of the beauty that is around me each day. I ask you God to bless all with peace in their hearts, calm in their minds, comfort in their bodies and an abundance of love in their hearts. I love you Father and am so thankful for YOU. In the name of Jesus Christ I ask these blessings and favors. Amen...
The writing that I am sharing tonight is one that I had to overcome, imagine being a person that really thought she knew all of the answers, I have a strong personality and tend to tell others what is best for them without allowing them to be heard...it took me many years to overcome this but let me tell you...when I started listening and began to hear what others were saying was when I began to live my life, I was amazed that I am not always right, my way is not always the right way and who in the habitats am I to think I know it all. It was very freeing for me to see the error of my ways and I have learned so much in hearing with my heart....
Listening with Your Heart
This is an actual advertisement found in a Utah (USA) newspaper from a man trying to sell his motorcycle.
"2006 Suzuki 1000. This bike is perfect! It has 1000 miles and has had its 500 mile dealer service. (Expensive Service!)
It's been adult ridden, all wheels have always been on the ground. I use it as a cruiser/commuter. I'm selling it because it was purchased without proper consent of a loving wife!
Apparently "do whatever the heck you want" doesn't mean what I thought!!!
Call me, Steve. [phone number]"
Her sarcasm was lost on him. Somehow he didn’t hear the words behind the words.
Why is it? We own cell phones and send email. We talk, text and tweet. We have more ways of communicating than ever before, but communication is still a major problem.
Maybe they hear our words, but they're deaf to what is behind the words. So what do we do? We say it LOUDER. If we can't be understood at conversational level, maybe they'll understand if we blast it into their heads.
And sometimes we simply don’t listen well. Perhaps that is because many of us are afflicted with what communicator Nido Qubein terms "agenda anxiety" – the feeling that what we want to say to others is more important than what they might want to say to us. So we don’t listen. We try to impress rather than express, not realizing that two monologues do not make a dialogue.
"Please understand me," is the desperate cry of too many relationships. "You don’t have to make me feel better; you don’t have to do anything; you don’t even have to agree with me. But don’t judge me. Just understand me. Please."
The truth is that our relationships work when communication works. And communication works when we hear the words behind the words; when it becomes as important for us to listen as it is for us to speak; and, when we truly understand each other. For me, it takes more than merely listening with my ears. I also have to listen with my heart.
My colleague and friend Roy Trueblood collaborated on the book MANAGING FROM THE HEART [Managing from the Heart] In it, the authors discuss what it means to communicate from the heart as well as from the head. Here are five principles of "H-E-A-R-T" communication. These are great tips for better talking and listening in personal relationships.
H - Hear and understand me.
E - Even if you disagree, please don’t make me wrong.
A - Acknowledge the greatness within me.
R - Remember to look for my loving intentions.
T - Tell me the truth with compassion.
Noted author and psychotherapist Virginia Satir said this about communication: "Once a human being has arrived on this earth, communication is the largest single factor determining what kinds of relationships he makes with others and what happens to him in the world about him." It seems important that we get it right.
I realize that the quality of my life will be largely determined by the quality of my relationships. And my relationships will improve when I learn to listen with my heart.
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