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3 comments:
Anonymous
said...
Dawn, I am asking for prayer for myself tonight...I have been struggling for years to forgive my ex-husband. He has chosen not to be involved with my daughters for 17 years, and it seems that with each passing year, he gets worse. He is now married to his 4th wife and they have a 3 year old son. His wife hates my kids because of me. She belittles them and says very hurtful things to and about both of them all the time. She is shaking with rage at my impending move back to Texas and has been telling my oldest daughter that she and her dad are tired of supporting her and paying for her college education. The only funny thing about that comment is the fact that they haven't given one red cent towards her education, and only started paying child support a year and a half ago...she is now 21. He has chosen to not be a participant in their lives since I left the marriage in 1993, but he seems to get worse towards them as each year passes. No matter what his wife says to them, if they say anything back, they are in the wrong. As their mother, it hurts my heart to see them hurt, and I just wish I could put them out of my mind so I didn't think about them so much. The thoughts that run through my mind are not the thoughts that a Christian woman should be thinking. I want to just be able to eventually give up all the hate and not pick it back up. I want to be able to move past this and live my life!
I answered you in detail on your email inbox, will lift your specific name in prayer that you will find peace in yourself, that you will allow God to take this from you and be blessed with the knowledge that it is now out of your hands and in the hands of the great problem solver. Love to you in the name of Christ, and as always I am here everyday for you! Love you so much, Dawn
Sweet friend, I cannot say as I know personally how you feel, I have been divorced several times, have only one child and that was in my first marraige and thanks be to God he has been the most excellent father a child could ever have asked for. I do counsel with several people who have gone through and who are going through right now, much of what you are going through. First let me tell you that it is okay to be angry and to have thoughts that are not as Christlike as could be, it is okay and I know that our father in heaven understands what is going on with us. I look at things like this as tests to see how we come through different situations in life, and as long as you realize that you are participating in "not Christlike" thoughts, you are on your way to resolving the issue. When it comes to step parents, I have seen very few, especially women, who are even in the ball park of being parents. It seems there is always a sort of jealousy that ensues and that driving a wedge between the child that the bio parent gives a strange sense of comfort and control. As far as your ex husband....."shame on him" when we become parents we take and unspoken oath with God to always take care of that child, to love them unconditionally, to protect them from harm, to nurture them and to teach them to live according to the written word, when we do not do these things, I think, that this is the worse form of disrespect that we can give to God the Father. Michelle, you are spending time on something that only God can change, you are exuding energy on someone that is not worth the energy, you are worrying over something you have no control over and you are allowing the two of them to drag you into satan's den. The main thing you have to do is pray for both of them, with true intent and honesty to God hit your knees and ask God to bless them with heart, to lay heavy upon them a sense of remorse for the things that they are doing, you need to ask God to give them knowledge of right and wrong and ask him to offer them the chance to make good to your daughter. Michelle, it is hard for us to pray for those that hurt us, but until we do, we will continue to allow satan to work through us, lift the heartfelt prayer up to God in the name of Jesus Christ and let it go, let God be the one who takes it from this point, the only thing you can do is be a spiritual force for your daughter, comfort her when she hurts from their actions and be an example of a wonderful Christian daughter in their eyes. All we really can do in this world to honor our father in heaven is be an example of Christ. So tonight when you lay down, think of all of the hurt you have been clinging to, in your mind take all of it and place it in a pile, all the pain he has caused you, all the anger you have manifested toward the two of them, all of the tears, the hurt, the pain, the worry, ALL OF IT, put it in a pile and then begin your chat with God, he knows of all of it, he has been waiting for you to get to this point, offer it to him, ask him to take it for you cannot carry it and remain true to him, ask him to hold you in his arms until he has absorbed each bit of it and then let him have it, let it go, do not cling to satan, LET IT GO. I would also ask that you speak to your daughters and tell them what you have decided to do about the situation, let them see that you are clinging fast to the rod of our father in heaven and offer them the same, I love the old adage...sticks and stones....their words can only hurt you if you allow. Hold your head up, be secure in the fact that you are doing what is expected of you in parenting and let God take care of them...I love you and will pray special prayers in your specific name often. I love you my friend
3 comments:
Dawn, I am asking for prayer for myself tonight...I have been struggling for years to forgive my ex-husband. He has chosen not to be involved with my daughters for 17 years, and it seems that with each passing year, he gets worse. He is now married to his 4th wife and they have a 3 year old son. His wife hates my kids because of me. She belittles them and says very hurtful things to and about both of them all the time. She is shaking with rage at my impending move back to Texas and has been telling my oldest daughter that she and her dad are tired of supporting her and paying for her college education. The only funny thing about that comment is the fact that they haven't given one red cent towards her education, and only started paying child support a year and a half ago...she is now 21. He has chosen to not be a participant in their lives since I left the marriage in 1993, but he seems to get worse towards them as each year passes. No matter what his wife says to them, if they say anything back, they are in the wrong. As their mother, it hurts my heart to see them hurt, and I just wish I could put them out of my mind so I didn't think about them so much. The thoughts that run through my mind are not the thoughts that a Christian woman should be thinking. I want to just be able to eventually give up all the hate and not pick it back up. I want to be able to move past this and live my life!
Thanks & God Bless!
Michelle Thomas
I answered you in detail on your email inbox, will lift your specific name in prayer that you will find peace in yourself, that you will allow God to take this from you and be blessed with the knowledge that it is now out of your hands and in the hands of the great problem solver. Love to you in the name of Christ, and as always I am here everyday for you!
Love you so much,
Dawn
Sweet friend, I cannot say as I know personally how you feel, I have been divorced several times, have only one child and that was in my first marraige and thanks be to God he has been the most excellent father a child could ever have asked for. I do counsel with several people who have gone through and who are going through right now, much of what you are going through. First let me tell you that it is okay to be angry and to have thoughts that are not as Christlike as could be, it is okay and I know that our father in heaven understands what is going on with us. I look at things like this as tests to see how we come through different situations in life, and as long as you realize that you are participating in "not Christlike" thoughts, you are on your way to resolving the issue. When it comes to step parents, I have seen very few, especially women, who are even in the ball park of being parents. It seems there is always a sort of jealousy that ensues and that driving a wedge between the child that the bio parent gives a strange sense of comfort and control. As far as your ex husband....."shame on him" when we become parents we take and unspoken oath with God to always take care of that child, to love them unconditionally, to protect them from harm, to nurture them and to teach them to live according to the written word, when we do not do these things, I think, that this is the worse form of disrespect that we can give to God the Father. Michelle, you are spending time on something that only God can change, you are exuding energy on someone that is not worth the energy, you are worrying over something you have no control over and you are allowing the two of them to drag you into satan's den. The main thing you have to do is pray for both of them, with true intent and honesty to God hit your knees and ask God to bless them with heart, to lay heavy upon them a sense of remorse for the things that they are doing, you need to ask God to give them knowledge of right and wrong and ask him to offer them the chance to make good to your daughter. Michelle, it is hard for us to pray for those that hurt us, but until we do, we will continue to allow satan to work through us, lift the heartfelt prayer up to God in the name of Jesus Christ and let it go, let God be the one who takes it from this point, the only thing you can do is be a spiritual force for your daughter, comfort her when she hurts from their actions and be an example of a wonderful Christian daughter in their eyes. All we really can do in this world to honor our father in heaven is be an example of Christ. So tonight when you lay down, think of all of the hurt you have been clinging to, in your mind take all of it and place it in a pile, all the pain he has caused you, all the anger you have manifested toward the two of them, all of the tears, the hurt, the pain, the worry, ALL OF IT, put it in a pile and then begin your chat with God, he knows of all of it, he has been waiting for you to get to this point, offer it to him, ask him to take it for you cannot carry it and remain true to him, ask him to hold you in his arms until he has absorbed each bit of it and then let him have it, let it go, do not cling to satan, LET IT GO. I would also ask that you speak to your daughters and tell them what you have decided to do about the situation, let them see that you are clinging fast to the rod of our father in heaven and offer them the same, I love the old adage...sticks and stones....their words can only hurt you if you allow. Hold your head up, be secure in the fact that you are doing what is expected of you in parenting and let God take care of them...I love you and will pray special prayers in your specific name often. I love you my friend
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