In a perfect world we have a perfect family, we grow up, get married, have children, raise our children in the perfect environment, our children grow up.....perfect.... and the cycle goes round and round! The last time I checked this is not the...perfect....world. We live in a world where there is strife around every corner, life is hard here on earth, so much temptation, so much stress, so much drama, so many choices...when our Father in heaven sent our spirits down to gain physical bodies he knew how difficult it would be for us and he prayed for us that we were strong enough to withstand "earth" We had to be sent down so that we could make the choice to want to return to him...we had to be given free agency to see if what we had been taught in the spirit world would be enough for us to hold fast to our faith and make right choices when we were away from him, the ultimate goal was to come here and learn more, to be faced with adversity, to be tested time and time again by satan to see if we could withstand and hold fast to what was needed for us to return home!
In an imperfect world we STRUGGLE, we BATTLE, we make BAD CHOICES, we MESS UP, we make MISTAKE one after another, after another, after another, we REPENT on a daily basis, or if you are like me, sometimes on an hourly basis!
Several years ago I had a very close friend commit suicide, it was the most devastating thing I had ever had to deal with, she was a mommy of 3 little ones, she was a wife, she was my friend and HOW COULD I HAVE NOT SEEN THIS? HOW COULD I HAVE CALLED MYSELF A FRIEND AND NOT SEEN THAT SHE NEEDED HELP? I beat myself up for months, I found myself not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to get dressed, not wanting to do anything. I felt that I had not only let her down but that I had let her family down, I should have been a better friend, I should have seen the signs, I should have been more in tune with her, I should have been there for her! Finally a very dear friend to me, my boss, took me by the shoulders and shook me, he told me some very valuable words..." IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT" to that I recanted that I should have seen what was going on. I was angry at her, then I felt embarrassed for being angry at her, I was confused as to how a mom could leave her babies, I was hurt that she did not talk to me, confide in me and allow me to help her, I was angry with God for allowing this to happen, I was filled with so many thoughts that I was one thought short of losing my mind! Again, I was told "IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT" it took me a long time to begin to heal, to begin to understand that I did not have any way of controlling this tragedy, that I had been a good friend to her and that it was her choice...A good choice, absolutely not...the right choice, most definitely not, but still it was her choice. I asked God if that meant that she would never get to enjoy the blessings of heaven, if her choice meant that I would never see her again, if that meant that she was forever gone from her children and those who loved her so much. I felt peace in my heart, when I talked to God of my fears of never seeing her again it was not the feeling that was given back to me, it was the feeling that YES, she would have a mighty work to do and a repentance process to get through but that she, if she wished, had the ability to be in the eternities when we all got there! Since the day that I received this epiphany I have known that NO it is not right to commit suicide, it is not HOLY, but it is not an unpardonable sin...the only unpardonable sins is rejecting Christ and blaspheming the Holy Spirit.
For the families that have lost a loved one to suicide I pray today that you know it is not your fault, that you know there was nothing you could have done to alter what has happened, once the mind is made up to go in this direction there is nothing nor no one who can change it. Today I offer this prayer to you in the faith that Father God will hold you in his arms and in your plea for healing that he will allow your heart to begin repair..the pain of loss will always be there, the hurt will remain..the way in which you cope with it is up to you....I pray this day for you and for yours that you might release your guilt and your sadness into the hands of our Father in Heaven and begin to live again.
"Father, in the name of Jesus, I come before You, confessing my need for You, and crying out to you from the bottom of my heart. Lord, You've said that you are near to those whose hearts are breaking and that you give grace to the humble. I humble myself before you now...I cast down any pride or self-justification that I would hide behind, and I present myself to you as I truly am..weak and helpless and despairing of my very life. I know there is no other rock but You, and I turn to You with all of my heart. Father, please forgive my sin! I open myself up to receive Your cleansing, Your healing, Your forgiveness and Your faith, hope and love into my being. I receive your love as a river, washing over the dry wasteland of my emotions. I see that in Your river there is life, and that every place your river touches in me is revived. I cast all my cares, my sorrows, my disappointments into that river and I let the current of Your spirit carry them far away. I believe You, when you say that you think good thoughts about me, and that Your plans are to give me a future and a hope. I believe You when You say that You knew who I was even before my mother conceived me..and that you wanted me to be alive on the earth right now. thank You for giving me life! thank You for working all things in my life for good! Thank You that I can call on your Name and You will be near me. thank you for bearing all my weaknesses and diseases ont eh cross, and healing me, spirit, soul and body. Satan, I close every door that I have opened to you and I renounce every activity I have partaken with you. In Jesus name, I submit myself to God. I resist you and command you to flee from me, as it is written in James 4:7! I remind you that you are defeated by the power of the cross and with the authority given to me by Jesus Christ I command you and force you to leave me right now!!!
Father I receive Your breath of Life into my mortal body now. I lift up my hand to You, to receive it; I fix my hopes on it and turn my life completely over to You. From this day forth I pray that you will give me the grace and wisdom to guard my heart diligently, to obey You and to resist every scheme of the enemy. I commit all I am to you and I have full faith that your are able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all I could ever ask or think. Lord send me the help I need now, Show me the way. I thank you for the love that you have lavished upon em and I pray that for the rest of my life. I will show that same love, mercy and forgiveness to all those around me. Amen!
In an imperfect world we STRUGGLE, we BATTLE, we make BAD CHOICES, we MESS UP, we make MISTAKE one after another, after another, after another, we REPENT on a daily basis, or if you are like me, sometimes on an hourly basis!
Several years ago I had a very close friend commit suicide, it was the most devastating thing I had ever had to deal with, she was a mommy of 3 little ones, she was a wife, she was my friend and HOW COULD I HAVE NOT SEEN THIS? HOW COULD I HAVE CALLED MYSELF A FRIEND AND NOT SEEN THAT SHE NEEDED HELP? I beat myself up for months, I found myself not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to get dressed, not wanting to do anything. I felt that I had not only let her down but that I had let her family down, I should have been a better friend, I should have seen the signs, I should have been more in tune with her, I should have been there for her! Finally a very dear friend to me, my boss, took me by the shoulders and shook me, he told me some very valuable words..." IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT" to that I recanted that I should have seen what was going on. I was angry at her, then I felt embarrassed for being angry at her, I was confused as to how a mom could leave her babies, I was hurt that she did not talk to me, confide in me and allow me to help her, I was angry with God for allowing this to happen, I was filled with so many thoughts that I was one thought short of losing my mind! Again, I was told "IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT" it took me a long time to begin to heal, to begin to understand that I did not have any way of controlling this tragedy, that I had been a good friend to her and that it was her choice...A good choice, absolutely not...the right choice, most definitely not, but still it was her choice. I asked God if that meant that she would never get to enjoy the blessings of heaven, if her choice meant that I would never see her again, if that meant that she was forever gone from her children and those who loved her so much. I felt peace in my heart, when I talked to God of my fears of never seeing her again it was not the feeling that was given back to me, it was the feeling that YES, she would have a mighty work to do and a repentance process to get through but that she, if she wished, had the ability to be in the eternities when we all got there! Since the day that I received this epiphany I have known that NO it is not right to commit suicide, it is not HOLY, but it is not an unpardonable sin...the only unpardonable sins is rejecting Christ and blaspheming the Holy Spirit.
For the families that have lost a loved one to suicide I pray today that you know it is not your fault, that you know there was nothing you could have done to alter what has happened, once the mind is made up to go in this direction there is nothing nor no one who can change it. Today I offer this prayer to you in the faith that Father God will hold you in his arms and in your plea for healing that he will allow your heart to begin repair..the pain of loss will always be there, the hurt will remain..the way in which you cope with it is up to you....I pray this day for you and for yours that you might release your guilt and your sadness into the hands of our Father in Heaven and begin to live again.
"Father, in the name of Jesus, I come before You, confessing my need for You, and crying out to you from the bottom of my heart. Lord, You've said that you are near to those whose hearts are breaking and that you give grace to the humble. I humble myself before you now...I cast down any pride or self-justification that I would hide behind, and I present myself to you as I truly am..weak and helpless and despairing of my very life. I know there is no other rock but You, and I turn to You with all of my heart. Father, please forgive my sin! I open myself up to receive Your cleansing, Your healing, Your forgiveness and Your faith, hope and love into my being. I receive your love as a river, washing over the dry wasteland of my emotions. I see that in Your river there is life, and that every place your river touches in me is revived. I cast all my cares, my sorrows, my disappointments into that river and I let the current of Your spirit carry them far away. I believe You, when you say that you think good thoughts about me, and that Your plans are to give me a future and a hope. I believe You when You say that You knew who I was even before my mother conceived me..and that you wanted me to be alive on the earth right now. thank You for giving me life! thank You for working all things in my life for good! Thank You that I can call on your Name and You will be near me. thank you for bearing all my weaknesses and diseases ont eh cross, and healing me, spirit, soul and body. Satan, I close every door that I have opened to you and I renounce every activity I have partaken with you. In Jesus name, I submit myself to God. I resist you and command you to flee from me, as it is written in James 4:7! I remind you that you are defeated by the power of the cross and with the authority given to me by Jesus Christ I command you and force you to leave me right now!!!
Father I receive Your breath of Life into my mortal body now. I lift up my hand to You, to receive it; I fix my hopes on it and turn my life completely over to You. From this day forth I pray that you will give me the grace and wisdom to guard my heart diligently, to obey You and to resist every scheme of the enemy. I commit all I am to you and I have full faith that your are able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all I could ever ask or think. Lord send me the help I need now, Show me the way. I thank you for the love that you have lavished upon em and I pray that for the rest of my life. I will show that same love, mercy and forgiveness to all those around me. Amen!
No comments:
Post a Comment