I look around and what do I see?????

Good morning and a blessed Sunday to each of you. I pray that you are awaking this morning filled with hope of a great day and smiling at the memories you made yesterday. I first would like to start by congratulating my sweet niece Allison on her marriage to Shon Riley yesterday. I pray for them and ask God to bless them in abundance all the rest of their days. I was not able to share in this wonderful event with them and only hope that Allison knows that I was there in heart and prayer. 

The title of my blog this morning is pretty much self explanatory...what do you see when you look at me????

When I wake up each morning I ask God not the let the pain be so bad that I am unable to get up, dressed, and then to my chair. I ask him to bless me with a day of minimal pain...somedays the pain is better than others but I see hope and I see answered prayers. I stroll through my little 450 square foot apartment that I share with Wayde, our two dogs and our cat and I see a roof over our heads, comfort from the elements and love in every picture hanging on the wall. Most people on the outside looking in see a "hovel" I see freedom and answered prayers. Not to long ago we did not have a place to call home, we did not know where we would lay our heads at night for we did not even have a bed....today I say we live in a mansion....maybe not in your eyes, but in mine it is..I look out the window and see our little old van sitting there as if it were a LIMO, in my eyes it is, we were without a vehicle for so long, the van is freedom to us. Yes it is beaten and battered and laughed at by some I am sure...but it is ours! When I look at that van I say "thank you" to God for allowing us to have it and I see answered prayers. When I look into my freezer and see a few packs of meat I am filled with joy for I know we will at least have a few meals with protein to comfort us and give us satisfaction, there was a time when we had no clue as to where or when our next meal would be...I thank God and I see answered prayers. When I see Wayde's little paycheck every two weeks, I know it will not be enough, but I praise God anyway for it is something, I see "almost enough" and I see answered prayers. When I go to the closet, I see a few things from the thrift store, I see them hanging there and I shout to the Lord a loud THANK YOU, for at least I have something to cover my body! When we lost all of our belongings I lost my "shoes and purse must match attitude" I lost my "what is the trend this season and where do I buy it" sense. I lost my "hair must be cut and colored every 3 months" beliefs, and I lost my "manicure and pedicure must make a statement" airs...I look at myself back then and I look at myself today and I LOVE what I see. I may be filled with worry and fear at times but I am also very filled with the SPIRIT of our FATHER IN HEAVEN. I may not know how we are going to make our rent or our utilities...I may not now if we are going to have "protein" in our diet, I may not have lotion for my alligator skin, perfume to make me smell pretty, make up to "enhance my looks"  but I do know that "IF GOD BRINGS US TO IT, HE WILL GET US THROUGH IT.  I pray every day for "just enough" and some how...some way it always works out. I am so thankful for empathy and compassion in my life, for those who see needs and somehow always are placed here for us. 

I have been asked..."after all that ya'll have gone through how can you continue to have faith?" I say after all we have gone through..." how can we not have faith?" I have seen prayer upon prayer answered...I have seen the one who was going to be evicted only to go to a place of worship and there be an offering of "almost enough" to get the rent paid, then I have seen an additional offering of just the amount needed to make it happen...praise God's holy name. I have seen the one who had no means at all of making it another day and then the angel of mercy swoop down and provide "just enough" I have seen those who the dr.s have given up on, healed by the master's hands...no explanation from the dr.s....standing scratching their heads wondering what happened...I know what happened, God provided favor and mercy...that is what happened. So when you look at me, you might think you see a person who has it all together, you see my smile in the words I write, you see uplift and inspiration because that is what God has let me to do...what you do not see is that "I cry too" " I live in worry too" I hurt and I fear, but I also TRUST, I trust that God will not allow us to fall, he is right there and will lift us back up time and time again as long as we are holding fast to our faith, as long as we honor and praise him and as long as we believe. 

So what do you see today???? Do you see the bad parts of your life and dwell on them or do you see the hope and the promise of God's love. It is all a matter of attitude...I just would like to say to each of you don't judge, don't bear false witness, don't sit and accuse those who have less than you.. try to be understanding, be empathetic and be filled with compassion for you never know if one day you might be living in this 450 square foot apartment wondering if you will make it!!!! I love each of you and implore that you look around yourself today and find what is important. God bless you with this beautiful day:)