As I have said in other blogs, church, religion, prayer, and God were not really a staple in our household when I was a child, it was not that we did not believe, it just did not hold a place at the dinner table. When I got married I went to church, (hit and miss) kind of when the mood suited me. I really enjoyed Brother Kenneth James at the little baptist church down on Camp Karankawa road. Then changes took place in my world and I did not go to church again until I moved to Utah. My relationship with the holy spirit started much earlier but my knowledge did not really begin until I was in my early 30's. In Utah, from the front patio, where I lived, I had a perfect view of the Bountiful Utah temple. At night it was so peaceful to sit out and view it sitting there on the side of the mountain, emitting a light comparable to a lighthouse in a storm. I would sit, in the quiet of the night, enjoy the song of the crickets and let the "aura" of this unique building wash over me, leaving a sense of peace and calm that I had never felt. I always say that it was this temple that confirmed to me that I was where God needed me to be. It gave me a sense of belonging and comforted me when I was so very homesick for family and Texas.
When I became a member of the Church Of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints, I truly began to understand and accept the Lord Jesus Christ into my life, I really "got it" I understood the meaning of the cross, the sacrifice, the resurrection, the power of repentance...I finally "got it", I enjoyed the fellowship on Sunday, relief society, (women's study group) bible study, sacrament meeting....I loved all of it, I could not get enough of it.....I am not going to say it was the "perfect" experience. I encountered people that lived in glass houses, I encountered many people that had let the blessings given them become the focus of their lives, in turn forgetting who had given them their bounty...(we all know a few like this) I could not get enough of the spirit in the church. I looked at it like this.....I would go to church on Sunday and absorb as much as I could, I would take in every word said and let the spirit wash over my entire being! I would go the entire week, each day losing a little spiritual steam, by the end of the week I was really in need of a "fill up" by the time Sunday got there, I was running on fumes, thank God in heaven it was Sunday so that I could go in and "fill up" Once my tank was replenished I knew that I could make it another week. I left the LDS church after several years which is another blog to be written. I continue to love the teachings, I love the tenants, the beliefs, I "get it" I would never say an ill word against any church, any spiritual meeting place, any religion...I began to seek out other churches to become a part of, I would leave these churches, go home feeling only half way full, open my scriptures, get "on bended knees" and fill my tank the remainder of the way. Then came a relationship that I totally allowed to strip me of spirituality, not that it was not there inside of me anymore, but that I was made fun of, called a Jesus freak, did not fit in kind of thing, so I pushed it all on the back burner, I continued to pray, I continued to try and live Christ-like, but I failed miserably...how can he be the all in your world when you have stuck him somewhere behind you thinking you know better than he what you need in your world? After 13 years of being separated from my Father in Heaven and my savior Jesus Christ, I realized that all of the crap that had attached itself to me was just that crap, it was not of God, it was bad juju, it seemed satan had the upper hand and was quickly pulling me into the pits of hell, I knew that I had to make a change and I had to make it right then. I pulled out my bible, I got down "on bended knees" and I prayed. I prayed for forgivness, I prayed for salvation, I prayed for him to take me by the hand, pull me out of the dark abyss I was falling in to and "fill my tank" I have not looked back, I have moved forward my hand in his each day, I have turned it all over to him and it feels good, it feels wonderful , I share this feeling everywhere I go. I have a strong testimony of Jesus Christ, I know he died on the cross so that we could have everlasting life, I know that he lives, I know what is pleasing to him and my Father in heaven and I try each day to be obedient. Many people think they are not receiving God blessings because they are not going to church, because they do not read the bible, because they do not pray as they should....spiritual blessing are earned by our character, by who we are, by the life we choose to lead....yes church is a wonderful way of sharing with other Christians, it is a way of going and "filling your tank" but it is not the only way. God does not deny you if you do not belong to "the one true church" Today, no matter where you are, think of our Father in heaven, think about the sacrifice, think about the great love, think about what you need to do to be closer to him, take time to "fill your tank" our world is a very difficult one to live in, we need a "full tank" to get us from Sunday to Sunday. May you be blessed with an overpowering sense of the holy spirit today, may you be prompted to testify to another your love for Christ and may you feel his love in all that you do. God bless you!!!!
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