On July 9th, 2008, I sat in my rocker on the front porch taking a good hard long look at my life, I had been wife more times than I am happy to admit and it always seemed to fall apart. I sat there chatting with God and I finally said, "I am done with love" I will be the old lady who has more animals than she knows what to do with and I will never, ever, give my heart away again...no more doormat, no more being vulnerable, no more feeling like I am raising another child, no more, no more, no more. I said to God..."if you wish for me to have love you will have to place him on my very door step, I have made the lousiest of choices and I will not choose ever again" This is where the fairy tale begins....
ON July 11, 2008 I sat in wait of a person who was in need of renting a room, after my divorce I rented rooms out in my house to help supplement the bills. I had a call the night before from a man in need of a rental...as I sat there waiting I was just chatting with God and had no idea when that car pulled up that it would be the very thing I had told God would need to happen...
When he drove up and climbed out of his car I thought he was handsome but nothing more, not this heart of mine, it was closed, it was blind, and it was deaf. I allowed him to take a look at the room and he came out and said he would take it, we sat there for a very long time just chatting, getting to know one another and I thought he is a very wise man, he is very kind, and he is very comforting just the way he talked, but he was not my type for sure...I invited him over for dinner that Sunday so that he could meet the other roomers that lived there and he went along his merry way, before he got into the car he said "oh, and Happy Birthday tomorrow, it took me aback a bit because I had not even realized I had told him that the following day was my birthday...Sunday came along and I had been tackling the yard for two days and was so close to finishing that I got our dinner meal started a bit late, I was in getting it together and cooking when he arrived, I looked a fright but remember I did not care, I was not there to impress anyone, I was not there to make friends, I was not there to be another doormat. I was in the kitchen getting things going when he arrived and I apologized for the messy state I was in, this man said to me, "let me do that so you can go and shower" Really he wanted to help in the kitchen...was something wrong with him? I did what he said and left the kitchen prep for him...After we ate he helped me clean the kitchen...WHAT a man was actually going to help me clean the kitchen, WHAT??? We then sat outside and talked until the crickets reminded us it was very late!!, He asked if he could cook for the household the following Sunday and I was in total agreement! My other roommates teased me the following day saying he was going to be my "forever partner" yea right....partner smartner I was having none of that! I found myself excited for the following Sunday when he came and prepared spaghetti, it was delicious, if anyone knows me...I am not a spaghetti lover, really not much of a pasta lover at all. But his was amazing...we again sat and chatted until late in the night, this time the subject was religion, it was amazing how in tune we were about our faith, our beliefs, our dreams, our goals...wait a minute....I am not going to fall for anyone, I am not going to be a door mat, I am not going to get hurt again.....over the next few months I found myself looking forward to taking dinner meals together, I longed for our bible study and our "God" talks I began to really get comfortable with him...and the rest is what it is, we fell in love, and deeper more passionate love than I had ever even imagined could be, we prayed together, we laughed like crazy, we cried together, we enjoyed long drives, we enjoyed the songs of the crickets on sweet summer nights and our friendship blossomed!
A year ago today I became Mrs. Wayde Phillips and I treasure the name, I look at him each morning and I just raise my hands in praise for God literally putting him at my front door. I treasure each moment with him and although this is the poorest I have ever been in my life, it is the richest I will ever be in my life...what a metaphor!!!!!
We have not had a fancy honeymoon, but we have had many many many days of honeymoons, we will not be getting to dine in a fancy restaurant in this day's celebration, but just sitting across from him at our little table is more than enough, we will go up the canyon to the place we exchanged our vows, park where we have the best view of the sunset and will hold hands and just enjoy the peace and solitude we have in our lives.
God certainly knew better than I when he sent Wayde into my life....I remember saying..."he is not my type" I guess now I realize that God knows better than anyone what IS my type and I am so happy that he answered my comments!!!
I love you Wayde Phillips and indeed you are the last piece of the puzzle in my life!!!!!
These times are troubled and these times are good
And they're always gonna be, they rise and they fall
We take 'em all the way that we should
Together you and me forsaking them all
Deep in the night and by the light of day
It always looks the same, true love always does
And here by your side, or a million miles away
Nothin's ever gonna change the way that I feel,
The way it is, is the way that it was
When I said I do, I meant that I will 'til the end of all time
Be faithful and true, devoted to you
That's what I had in mind when I said I do
Well this old world keeps changin', and the world stays the same
For all who came before, and it goes hand and hand
Only you and I can undo all that we became
That makes us so much more, than a woman and a man
And after everything that comes and goes around
Has only passed us by, here alone in our dreams
I know there's a lonely heart in every lost and found
But forever you and I will be the ones
Who found out what forever means
When I said I do, I meant that I will 'til the end of all time
Be faithful and true, devoted to you
That's what I had in mind when I said I do
Truer than true, you know that I'll always be there for you
That's what I had in mind, that's what I had in mind,
When I said I do
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