random thoughts and my new attitude!!!!

Good morning and happy Monday, hopefully I am in a stronger mental state and will be able to blog a bit more from this point on, it has been a soul searching and very spiritual last couple of weeks and I feel better today. I think sometimes we need to get down and feel overwhelmed to open the door wider for God to come in and help us with soul cleansing. He knew I needed so much redirection in my way of thinking and he knew that I was in need of humility so that is what I got. I am pleased to announce that my thoughts are now back on track, my confusion regarding the human race back in check and my pity pot is now closed and I am standing on my feet and ready for anything that might try to trip me up. I have taken many crying showers, stripped down to nakedness and totally opened my heart and spirit up to God, allowed him to scold me for the wrong I have done and then accepted that he loves me still, that he wants only good for me and that if I continue to hold his hand through the fire I will rise like a phoenix and soar like an eagle. I had to realize that all things are in his time, NOT mine and that he has only my best interest in his heart. I had to get back to the basics of living and realize that I cannot allow myself to feel sorrow for me, to feel picked on, to feel unloved by him, HE is only filled with love! I felt shame for blaming him, for thinking he had walked away from me and for thinking that I was alone. I am never alone, I just tend to push the Holy Spirit away with my negative and angry moods. Shame on me....like I said, sometimes we have to be humbled down to nothing to see the "something" I am seeing it today, and I have no idea what will happen with Wayde and I due to the hour cut in his work, BUT, I am trusting that we will make it, somehow, some way, WE WILL MAKE IT. 

This weekend a very special person in my life was married, I was unable to attend the wedding and have to let you all know was a teary eyed mess most of the day. I so wanted to be a part of the celebration...Wayde in his infinite wisdom took me up the mountain at dusk, the time in which the wedding was taking place and allowed me to feel the spirit of the ones who did get to attend, I knew there were to be fireworks when the "I do's" were said and as I sat watching the sunset beside my husband and thinking of the wedding I was missing, in the distance, in the valley, someone lit off fireworks and in my heart I knew that I was with all who were celebrating this wedding...even though we were many states apart, I was in my heart and soul right there celebrating with them. I felt such a calm and such a peace in my heart. I thanked God over and over for allowing my soul to be there with them. It was an amazing feeling and just another validation that God does answer prayers, all I had to do was look. 

I am sharing my favorite prayer with you knowing that God will be with each of you tending to your needs. Love to all:)

Dear Lord, I thank You for this day.  

I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning.  

I'm blessed because You are a forgiving and understanding God.  

You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me.  

Forgive me this day for I have sinned. 

I ask now for Your forgiveness.  

Keep me safe from all danger and harm.

Let me start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude. 

Let me make the best of each and every day 

and give my best in all that is put before me.  

Clear my mind that I can hear from You.  

Broaden my mind that I can accept all things.  

Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over.  

Let me continue to see sin through God's eyes

and acknowledge it as evil.  

And when I sin, let me repent, and confess my wrong doing,

and receive the forgiveness of God.  

And when this world closes in on me, 

let me remember Jesus' example --- 

to slip away and find a quiet place to pray.  

It's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits.  

I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart.

Continue to use me to do your Will. 

Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others.

Keep me strong that I may help the weak.

Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others.

I pray for those that are lost and can't find their way.

I pray for those that are misjudged and misunderstood.

I pray for those who refuse to share a word from You.

I pray for those that will read this and not use this in their lives.

I pray for those that will delete this without sharing it with others.

I pray for those that don't believe.  But I believe.

I believe that God changes people and God changes things.

I pray for all my sisters and brothers.

This is my prayer; I pray in Jesus' name.

Amen.